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  She had strength. But he could also see that she’d suffered something, and it had shaken her to the core.

  “Tennyson was her partner. Will was bent like her, but with a whole lot more wild.” Hank shook his head again. “If anyone would’ve betrayed their oath, it was him. But psych evals all came back clean. Solid to the core, just had that renegade exterior. They figured it was a front. Like a part he played. So they stuck him undercover with Megan.”

  Hank blew out a breath and continued, “Thick as thieves, they were. Unstoppable. Closed so many cases they gained a reputation up and down the west coast. If they’d taken down El Cuervo like they’d planned, it would’ve gotten them both commendations, and they knew it.” He paused. “Think that made them cocky. Will maybe more than Megan, at least. He probably pushed it, trying to get a result before it was time.”

  Undercover was a delicate balance of keeping the focus on the job, playing the part, and not being “made” as a fed. Adrian had done some undercover work but was more suited to the nuts and bolts after the crime had been committed, figuring out who was responsible and ensuring justice was brought.

  If Megan had the skills for undercover, and it seemed that she did, then she would be a serious asset to finding and bringing down Zimmerman. She knew how to think like a criminal. How to talk like one. She likely had contacts in that world which would take Adrian weeks to establish.

  He needed her. Which meant he had to convince her to team up with him.

  First, though, he needed to know why she was so resistant to having a partner. And he figured it was wrapped up in this Tennyson person’s story.

  “What happened to her partner?” Adrian asked. Ready to get the answers he needed and get going after Megan. They were running out of time to find Zimmerman.

  “El Cuervo found out who they were. Somehow. Had two of his guys pick up Will and Megan. Three days, no one knew where they were. Never found Will’s body. Megan walked into the US embassy in Mexico City with torn up clothes, covered in blood. Didn’t say a word until she got back here.”

  “Mexico City?”

  Hank shrugged. “She only started talking when I showed up at the hospital in Bethesda and made her talk.” Hank swallowed. “She said they killed Will in front of her. Bunch of lower level guys. Who knows what they did to her. She’s never told anyone about it.”

  Adrian winced.

  “Tossed her out of the van on the side of a highway. Took her a day to walk into Mexico City,” Hank said. “She wouldn’t tell me more than that.”

  “You think it was El Cuervo?”

  Hank nodded. “She figured he was sending a message. Proof he’s got someone on our payroll. She’s never figured out who it is, and I know she’s still looking into it.”

  “You think it’s Zimmerman?” Adrian asked. “That he’s the one who sold out her and her partner to the Venezuelans and got an agent killed?”

  “And changed another agent’s life irrevocably.”

  Adrian squeezed his eyes shut for a second. Megan had seemed like he didn’t want to hear about the connection between Zimmerman and El Cuervo. Because she couldn’t handle the news and had to compartmentalize it for later?

  That was all the time Adrian gave himself to absorb everything that had happened to Megan in her career as an FBI agent. No wonder she didn’t want to work with anyone else. She’d been there when her partner was killed. And even if there hadn’t been anything romantic between them—which there very well could’ve been—there were likely deep feelings.

  Undercover agents had to trust each other with everything. Not just to watch each other’s back the way they did on operations. When you were undercover it was life and death. Every breath was dangerous.

  And for Megan, it had ended in the worst possible way.

  But she was still moving. Still fighting. He figured she organized her life in a way that meant she could cope. Set aside and process later. The woman had a job she needed to do, probably more than “wanted” to. And her mom was a close part of her life.

  She was more than a mystery to him now.

  Adrian got up. “Is that everything?”

  Hank nodded. “I’ll get you those files. You take care of my girl.”

  “Sir?”

  “Megan Perkins is a priority here.”

  Adrian passed out of Hank’s office at a stride, determined to catch up to Megan as fast as possible. They were going to take down Zimmerman, and Adrian was going to be with her every step of the way until that happened. Regardless of what SAC Cromwell had been attempting to imply with that comment.

  Because she’d gone through enough. More than anyone—agent or no—should ever have to suffer. The FBI owed her.

  And Adrian was going to pay that bill.

  Chapter 5

  Megan gripped the phone as she leaned against the counter in the break room, aware of several sets of eyes trained on her. She was an exception in the office, despite her relationship with Hank. It wasn’t like she came around often.

  “It just came through on Steve’s email and the company account,” her mom said.

  “Huh?” She blinked and tuned into what her mom had been saying.

  “Zimmerman stopped at a children’s hospital in St Louis.”

  Megan’s eyebrows lifted.

  “He reportedly left a message with one of the patients, a boy with Leukemia.” Her mom paused. “Very sad. The nurses sent the email through. Apparently the boy says Zimmerman was adamant.”

  “They mentioned him by name?” If this was legit, it was a serious breakthrough. But not because they’d gained a lead through hard work. No. Zimmerman had contacted them.

  But why?

  Her mom said, “I’ll forward you the actual email.”

  “Don’t do that.” Megan saw Adrian in the doorway and frowned at the look on his face. He shook his head. She said to her mom, “Don’t send it on. It could have a virus, or a worm. You can give away my location.”

  Her mom said, “Can’t he just find your GPS because of this call?”

  “Not if you’re using the secure line.”

  “I am.”

  “Then we’re covered. But read me the email anyway. Humor me. Yeah?” Megan waved Adrian over, and then put the phone on speaker.

  “…trust your judgment. Of course.” Her mom’s voice came through so they could both hear it.

  “Thanks, Mom.”

  “Here goes.” Her mom paused. “It says, ‘To Megan Perkins.’ So he knows who you are. How, I don’t know.”

  Adrian shifted. Megan didn’t look at him. She didn’t want to know what was on his face, considering she likely wouldn’t be able to decipher it anyway. He probably had no clue why she’d wanted him to listen in on this call. He needed to piece all this together without her having to explain. Yes, her mom worked for Double Down. Receptionist since the day Megan was hired.

  Now she could add the fact Daniel Zimmerman—a man she’d never met, and didn’t know—had used her name. The logical explanation was that the blackmailer knew who she was.

  Megan said, “What’s the rest?”

  “Are you sure—”

  “Mom. Tear the bandage off quick.”

  “Well, it’s not exactly bad news. More like informational.”

  “Mom.”

  “Okay, fine.” Her mom sighed. “This morning Daniel Zimmerman visited the oncology ward at the St. Louis children’s hospital.”

  Adrian’s body shifted, but he said nothing.

  Megan waited.

  “He left a message with one of our patients and asked that you retrieve it as soon as possible. Due to the patient’s condition, we recommend that as well. Our department is not the place for whatever kind of arrangement you have established with this man, and the patient is in no condition to wait, though he insists on speaking to you himself.” Her mom paused. “That’s all of it.”

  Megan glanced up at Adrian then, asking her mom, “Can you get us—”

 
; “The plane is at Potomac Airport. It’s waiting for you, and the pilot already filed a flight plan for St. Louis.”

  “Take a look at the airports in and around St. Louis,” Megan said. “See if Zimmerman took a flight out after he delivered this message.”

  “Will do. And…‘us’? What’s that about?” Her mom’s tone switched to being entirely too hopeful. “Is Agent Walker with you? I’ve seen his picture.” She whispered, “He’s cute.”

  Megan shut her eyes. Her face flamed.

  Adrian chuckled under his breath.

  “Goodbye, Mom.” She opened her eyes to end the call and stowed the phone back in her jacket.

  How was she supposed to face Adrian now? He’d seen her with her pants off—thank you, Cross Fit. She kept in shape, so that was something at least. But now her mom thought he was “cute.” Was it possible to die from embarrassment?

  “Megan.”

  She grudgingly acknowledged his existence, still aware her cheeks were way too flushed.

  “St. Louis?”

  “I guess we have a plane to catch,” she said. “If you’d like to come as well…” She let that go unfinished. Did he want an engraved invitation? He probably knew all about Will, which was why he now looked at her with that added bit of softness in his eyes. “I don’t need your help,” she reminded him. “But if we’re both going to the same city next anyway, then it makes sense to take the same plane. Less gas. It’s better for the environment.” She lifted her chin.

  “The environment?”

  “Yes. Don’t you care about the destruction of the planet?” It took all her undercover skills to keep a straight face despite the ridiculousness. Not of being eco-conscious, that wasn’t what was ridiculous. Just using that for an excuse because she didn’t want a partner, and that fact hadn’t changed. But she couldn’t ignore the fact that she’d gotten…used to him.

  He’d been there through some insanity the past few days. Weeks.

  They both wanted Zimmerman, the blackmailer, brought down.

  They wanted the American people safeguarded from a rogue FBI agent with a deadly weapon.

  She didn’t have to explain why she did some things the FBI way. And she didn’t have to explain why she didn’t need his help. Once this was done, she wasn’t going to have to see that sadness in his gaze anymore.

  “Let’s go.” She breezed past him. The need to go see what Zimmerman had left with a sick child was like being overtaken by some body-snatching alien. She’d never felt so possessed. Zimmerman either was the blackmailer, or he knew who they were.

  The past wasn’t supposed to affect her this badly, but it was. Hearing that Zimmerman was connected to El Cuervo had done that. Was that why he’d sent her a message? And what did all this have to do with the blackmail scheme?

  Hank stood at his office door. He stared across the bullpen at them coming out of the break room. She lifted a hand and waved. “Bye, Hank.”

  Several agents in the room blinked their surprise. They were trained not to give more than that away, and even that much was a slip. Still, she didn’t blame them for reacting like that when she’d called their boss by his first name.

  She jabbed at the button for the elevator, aware that Adrian had come to stand behind her. When she glanced at him, she saw he stared at his phone. Swiped. Tapped. Emails, probably. Updates. Reports. He hadn’t had the chance to check in with his team, and now they were headed out into the field again.

  Adrian’s team—under Hank’s direction—were after the blackmailer. That was why Adrian had been on her tail, determined to make a team with her. His involvement seemed so natural after he’d been there when two Double Down teammates had died.

  Her heart tripped, but she pushed through the ache.

  New day. Same old wound.

  Thinking about Adrian was better than dwelling on El Cuervo. She hadn’t exactly put the experience behind her, though she’d tried to make her mom believe that was true. Hank knew the real story, and he’d been helping her with information gathering.

  Was Zimmerman really part of the Venezuelan’s operation? And if he’d been part of it for years, that meant the Venezuelans had affected FBI operations for just as long. The virus would spread both ways, and there was no antidote. Good people had suffered. Justice had been subverted. And for what? So Zimmerman could get himself a payday?

  The whole thing made her angrier than she’d been at the men who blew off Will’s head right in front of her face.

  “Megan.” His voice was soft.

  She glanced at Adrian. The doors to the elevator slid open on the ground floor. “Let’s go.” She swept out of the elevator car into the lobby. Tears blurred her vision, but she didn’t let them fall. She’d shed too many already. To the point where she’d been determined to think her emotions had dried up. Evidently not.

  She didn’t want to yield. Not even to God, though that fact made her even sadder than she already was. Yielding meant she would soften, and that wasn’t going to help her. Vulnerability was what had gotten her into this mess.

  What she needed was to be strong. Secure. She had to find the strength within herself, despite the ways God had helped her. He’d been with her. He had sent help that meant she could get to the embassy. She knew she hadn’t been alone. But she had been vulnerable.

  And there was no way she was going to allow herself to slip back into that place again.

  **

  Adrian kept an eye on her the whole way to St. Louis. On Double Down’s private plane, of all things. Actually, according to Megan, it was, “One of their planes.” Like that was perfectly normal.

  Maybe in the private sector, because it certainly wasn’t true in the FBI.

  Megan didn’t say much beyond that one comment. She got on her phone for a while, checking email and such. Her comment to her mother that she shouldn’t send over the email made him ask her if they thought the blackmailer was still in their computer system.

  She’d said, “Can’t be too careful.”

  The blackmailer had hacked the Double Down computer system and gotten Emma Burroughs, a victim of his, to leave the safety of their warehouse in order to gain control of her again. It was how the sonic weapon had been stolen by Zimmerman. Emma had broken into the facility while the blackmailer had coerced a scientist into giving him the door code to the secure lab. After that, Zimmerman had taken the sonic weapon and ordered Emma killed.

  Thankfully, Mint—real name Davis Malone, and not a man Adrian wanted to meet in a dark alley—had saved her life. Now Emma and Megan’s Double Down teammate were inseparable.

  Good things that had come from bad. Kind of like Bradley and Alexis’s marriage.

  So why did that always seem to be true of everyone else’s life? He only had to look at Megan’s life to see the truth. Some people didn’t get their happy endings, even as much as he might want that for her.

  Adrian had sworn to himself that he would put his career first and then later see what the future might hold for him. After he’d established himself in his field. He knew he wasn’t going to be an FBI agent forever. The hours, and the stress, were too much to hold onto it long-term. That meant one day he had to look past his tenure with the bureau. To relationships, and family.

  Had Megan thought she was going to be an FBI agent for the twenty years it took before retirement was a possibility? Adrian didn’t like to make assumptions about life—though wasn’t that what he was doing by pushing the chance to have a relationship off until later?

  If he’d assumed his first marriage would work, then he’d have been disappointed by the fact his wife cheated on him and then kicked him out. She’d made her choice. In response, he’d decided to focus on his career—the very thing she’d accused him of. So he had good focus, and it was even better since the divorce. He didn’t know why that was bad. It wasn’t like she hadn’t known the job he did before they got married.

  The plane landed, and they unbuckled their belts. When Megan reached for he
r duffel on the seat across the aisle, he said, “I’ll get that. If you want.”

  She looked like she was about to argue, so he added, “Since you got shot yesterday, and all.” He deftly took it from her before she could think to hold onto it. “I wouldn’t want it to bump against your hip by accident. It’s probably still sore.”

  He wasn’t going to think about the fact he’d seen what he’d see if she was at the pool in a bathing suit. He might be a gentleman, but he was still a man. God had made him to appreciate the female form. It was a good thing, a blessing to be able to enjoy—in the right circumstances. Not that he thought he’d ever be able to have that with Megan.

  If she didn’t want a partner, she wasn’t likely to let him in.

  She’d had Will Tennyson, and he’d been killed. If she’d loved him as much as she trusted him as her partner, then Adrian figured she’d built those walls to hide behind for good reason. She’d been more than burned.

  And wasn’t that what he’d done, determining to save relationships for later? Who could say the next woman he fell for wouldn’t object to his job the way Sandra had? He was saving himself from being hurt again by not even getting into a relationship until he was done with the FBI. Right? But maybe it was just another way of taking the easy route.

  Megan was the one protecting herself from genuine trauma.

  “Why are you looking at me like that?” She looked surprised she’d said it. “Never mind.”

  “No.” He touched her elbow. “It’s okay. And I’m sorry.”

  “For looking at me?”

  “I’m not sure I’m going to apologize for admiring a beautiful woman,” he said, purely to test the waters.

  Her gaze softened, but he didn’t get the smile he wanted. And she didn’t blush. Maybe she’d been changed too much she didn’t do that anymore.

  “Not so bad looking yourself, champ.”

  He barked out a laugh. “I can’t say it’s ever been put like that before.”

  “Had a lot of admirers?” Now she looked like she was ready to punch someone. Good.

  He said, “I guess you’ll have to ask me some probing questions. Put those FBI investigative skills to good use and see what dark secrets I’m hiding in my past.”